Talk to Me, Goose!

When it comes to verbal communication, women are generally perceived as the more superior of our species. We have all heard statistics that compare the number of words men speak each day compared to women. One study I read states that women speak 20,000 words per day, whereas men speak 7,000 words ("The Female Brain," by Dr. Louann Brizendine). Hold that thought! I stumbled across an interesting scientific study published in 2007 by ABC News that crushes this notion. Using digital voice recorders over an eight year period, the University of Arizona discovered that, on average, women use 16,215 words per day and men use 15,669 words1. I was blown away. One of the hypothesis for this seeming contradiction between a scientific study and real world experience is this: perhaps women want to talk more when men do not want to listen. That is another subject.

Now... whether these statistics are realistic, who can say?  My point is to bring up the subject of how men talk with other men, and to ask the question "Are we talking about the right things?"

I love hanging with the guys, and I have to say that we can talk for hours about subjects that touch one of our passions. Personally, I am somebody who loves to explore new hobbies. I recently bought a road bike and began cycling. I LOVE to talk with other cyclists about gear, technique, goals, and the amazing experiences we have had on a ride. I am the same way about hunting and hiking. This level of communication is not bad at all. The point is this: I love to talk. But… am I also talking about the right things with other men?

I believe that every guy needs “man-time”; when we can simply be with other guys and talk about things that engage our human nature. This level of relationship is foundational if we are to reach the highest level of discipleship (life-on-life) and if we are to ever go to a deeper level of spiritual life together. Yet we MUST go deeper.

Deep communication among men is a skill that must be mastered, driven by the spiritual desire to grow as a man of God and grow other men. One of my favorite Proverbs is this: Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (ESV). That speaks to more than just growing in intellect or huMAN passions. We were created as men of God to sharpen other men in a way that no other relationship can!

Three relationships that every man needs are these: Spiritual Father, Spiritual Brother, and Spiritual Disciple. You can change the wording if you like, but hold to the description of each relationship. We need deep communication with someone who has walked the road we are currently walking. We need deep communication and accountability with a brother with whom we can journey the same path. We also need to see our role as a spiritual father to the next spiritual generation. And… our communication must reach below the surface to engage the spirit and the real issues men are facing. Spiritual growth among men will not happen by default!

Today, I choose to take the initiative in my relationships with other men to talk more – about the fluff, but also about the stuff deep within the heart.

Go Make a Difference!

Chris Puccini

1 Ashley Phillips, Study: Women Don’t Talk More Than Men (ABC News, July 5, 2007)

Lessons from a Diamondback

Lessons from a Diamondback

For the past few months, I have noticed that a well-intentioned individual who regularly walks in front of our property has taken it upon himself to pick up the trash along our busy roadway. I have noticed because he or she deposits the trash in our landscaping, right next to our church sign. I am thankful for whoever this person is. So, it has become a habit for me to stop and throw the trash into the back of my truck. It happened again today.


As I walked from my truck towards the sign, and as I bent down with beautiful, fluid, forward motion technique to pick up the water bottle and empty pack of cigarettes, I distinctly heard a voice from within saying “watch out for diamondbacks!” I stopped immediately! As I looked to where my hand was reaching, there in the desert brown rocked landscaping was a perfectly camouflaged rattlesnake in the process of coiling up in full defense mode.

It happened so fast, but I immediately noticed the absence of an adrenaline rush. I also immediately recognized the voice I had just heard, and began to smile at how amazing all of this was. Some might argue that this was simply common sense. After all, I live in the middle of the Sonoran desert. Yet I know better because I have learned to recognize that distinct voice.

This was a reminder to me of the value of learning the voice of the Holy Spirit. It is of extreme importance in spiritual living, and not just for hidden snakes, but because there is so much more at stake in life. There are so many opportunities to hear and respond to the Spirit’s whispers that I am convinced that I must be a student of His voice.

John 10:27 “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” (NASB)

DETOUR

Proverbs 3:6 "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track."

We have all seen the dreaded “DETOUR” Sign. You are driving on the same route you always take to the office, a friend’s house, or the grocery store… and suddenly you are re-routed. The new direction is usually longer… some times WAY longer. If you are like me, for a moment you are frustrated. It’s human nature to resist change. Yet, the detour serves several purposes… and so it is with our spiritual journey.

1. The original route is unsafe. God seems to send abrupt changes in our life because He sees the big picture. These come during seasons when, if we were to travel the same road we have always been on, continuing in the same strategy, following the same patterns, it would be hazardous to our spiritual growth.
2. It gives us a new perspective. Even visionary leaders can get stuck in the routine of the mundane. God sends us on a detour so that we can see new opportunities, new avenues of ministry, a new way to get things done, and new scenery to enjoy along the way. We meet new people along the way that reveal different facets of God’s creativity, and it is inspiring!
3. It slows us down, forcing us to focus. When we are stuck in patterns – even good patterns – we coast through life, and easily give in to the auto pilot syndrome. Taking a detour forces us to slow down our pace in order to navigate the new direction. It causes us to focus on the most important thing… steering through life under the direction of the Holy Spirit’s GPS.
4. It forces us to plan ahead. New ventures need careful planning and preparation. When God sends an unexpected detour, you can be sure you will be looking for it and planning your life around the new direction. 
5. It brings assurance that God is still at work. God is widening the lanes of our life, smoothing the surface we travel upon, and opening new avenues that will enhance our future

Every time I see a detour sign, it will remind me of the ways of God in dealing with me. Even when it cramps my plans, causes delays, or incites momentary frustration, I hope I continue to embrace the road signs God puts in my way. It’s a reminder that He is still at work in me.

Flashback

Today I was at the church doing some menial tasks that nobody really likes to do and it happened. I had a flashback!

I was 23 years old, a senior at North Central University, and serving as an intern with my church’s youth ministry. Life was busy and crazy, but it was one of the most memorable summers of my life!

One day, I found myself doing what can only be described as “slave labor”. Our church was going through a construction project, so the interns had the honor doing the jobs that the construction workers didn’t even want to do. It was dirty, nasty, sweaty, and exhausting. I remember distinctly the feeling of frustration. The job was insurmountable. The thoughts of “I didn’t sign up for this” kept surfacing. To top it off, the youth pastors were in the office wing… where there was air conditioning! I thought, “Why aren’t they in here with us?!” I don’t know how long those feelings lasted on that first day, but all of a sudden, God broke me and taught me three important life lessons.

1. Servanthood is the foundation of Godly leadership. Stop now! Don’t brush by that phrase and say “Oh yeah. I know that.” You and I both have heard that and read it a bazillion times. Hear it again: Servanthood is the foundation of Godly leadership. I am still learning the skills of leadership, and do not claim to be the best leader around. But I have observed that unless a leader’s value system has deep roots in servanthood, they will never develop other servant leaders. They will only give birth to others who, out of a comparison mentality, want the same spotlight that the leader has enjoyed. The leader may be an exceptionally gifted speaker or networker, which buys them the illusion of Kingdom leadership. It’s a trap. Servanthood is the foundation of Godly leadership.

2. The absence of ego-building rewards reveals the heart. The most revealing environment to expose our heart’s buy-in to servanthood has this one important ingredient: Very few, if any, see our work (especially our superiors). Of course, we were created to do good works, and when others see those good works, done with a pure heart, they will glorify the Father. Yet the issue is the heart. The absence of the applause of man is the best environment to reveal our true servant’s heart, or lack thereof.

3. A Godly leader never promotes himself out of serving. This one is so very important, because it’s easy to think, “If servanthood is the foundation of leadership, then I simply ‘pay my dues’ and one day people will serve me, because, after all, I have already built that foundation.” A Godly leader is ALWAYS and FOREVER a servant. And, in the very mission of being a leader, we are to influence others with our life. How else can you impart the foundation of Godly leadership (servanthood) in others if you will not serve them and serve alongside them?

I think it is a valuable discipline to serve in ways that challenge our attitude and reveal our heart. Serve the people God has entrusted to your influence. Instill in them the value of servanthood by serving with them so that they embrace lesson #3 – and not just for kudos, but for their future as a leader.

The last episode in Jesus’ life before the resurrection was the ultimate demonstration of servanthood. He did what nobody else would ever want to do when He carried the cross to Calvary. Let’s emulate Him by nurturing a passion to serve God and others!

Loaded Weapon

You will either be offended in some way, or impassioned to respond with a heart-felt "Amen!"

I do not normally keep a weapon in the house, and have very rarely, if ever, had a loaded weapon in the house. However, a few weeks ago I was impressed to place my handgun in a place where I could easily get to it (in a safe place the kids could never get to). It was about the time I was loading .40 caliber hollow points into the clip that I noticed my wife staring at me in disapproval. You can probably guess the details of the “discussion”. By the end, she had to agree with me… What good is a gun without bullets? I guess I could throw my Springfield XD Subcompact (that is my gun by the way) at an intruder.

It may be intimidating to see a firearm aimed at you, yet without ammunition, the gun does not serve a purpose… other than deceiving others about it’s power.

The heartbreaking parallel is how this is too often a metaphor of the local church. Let’s bring it even closer to home… it can be a picture of our spiritual lives.

Jesus referred to one level of this deception by calling some religious people “white washed tombs… full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.” They looked right on the outside to some, but there was no transforming power at work on the inside.

God paid such a supreme price – sacrificing His Son - in order to satisfy His pure justice. This price enables Him to dispense mercy upon those who believe. The result is the salvation of our eternal being. Our response to His mercy – though freely given and unable to be earned – should be that of humble thanksgiving and a life of passionately pursuing Him and loving others.

When we live as though God’s mercy is cheap – ignoring the great price He paid for it – the result is an empty weapon. When we ignore or deny the power of God, we may be able to fake the appearance of Godliness, but on the inside we are spiritually bankrupt.

One of the issues that are so abhorrent to God - so much so that Jesus spent a lot of time battling it in Scripture – is a works-based salvation theology. This, taken to the extreme, is a life so self-righteously consumed with outer correctness in others; the byproduct of inner pride and a heart full of sin…utterly opposed to God. A church, or a person, becomes deceived when they think they can keep all of the laws of God and be accepted outside of grace. Every single time, the result is a church, or individual, that is consumed with external appearance. In the church, the self-willed nature of man is bent towards defining righteousness based upon his own preference (music, dress, who’s in charge, preaching style, etc). In my experience, these empty weapons are characterized by stirring dissension. They never disciple another person, except in their own brand of self-righteous religion, and they never see spiritual births as a byproduct of their own spiritual passion. That sounds harsh, but I think Jesus was even sterner.

We need fire! We need authentic passion within that drives us to be the Church! The power of God that changes us from the inside out – producing fruit authentically spirit-born – should season our very lives, our gatherings, and our mission statements. The mission of the church – God-worship and loving-others – does not need another empty person or another church with a trendy name that is really a powerless, empty shell of wagon-circlers known more for it’s splits than for the mercy they show others. May we be passionate to be that kind of people and that kind of church! For His glory and for His fame! And for those in the Kingdom who are tired of forgoing the power of God in our midst for the sake of those in fear of a loaded weapon!

External Gauges

I am learning – not as fast as I would like – to embrace the giants that God allows to come my way. Well, maybe I shouldn’t use the word “embrace”, which gives the picture of a warm welcoming “happy to see you” hug. Maybe I am just willing to shake hands, or give it a chest bump.

I am also learning to be more acutely aware of the difference between the pressures I am walking through due to His discipline verses the fellowship of His suffering verses a simple act of his refinement. Each of them requires a different response. There is also an enemy, who wants to take me down, but I am not his child; nothing comes my way without the authorization of my Father. My enemy is only successful to the degree I choose to yield to my sin nature, instead of obeying the spirit.

I think the grace with which we walk through challenging situations reveals our level of trust in His ways in dealing with us. By grace, I mean our attitude and speech, which reveals our heart (Luke 6:45). I am not saying that we need to live in delusion about our trials by not acknowledging them. However, a good indicator of the focus of my heart is the ratio between the communication (speech and attitude) of my “giant” and the supremacy of His sovereignty. This works from the inside out because our communication only reveals what is on the inside. It is not simply an external act (I will just speak faith-filled declaratives) in order to produce a heart that is full of faith. What comes out of us is simply a gauge for what is an internal, spiritual reality. If we do not like what we see, then, by an act of our will (motivated by our spirit), we come to the Father who alone is able to ignite the faith in our spirit, of which He is the author. The result is a hope-filled perspective of our trials that manifests in the natural. It is also a blaring testimony to the world.

I haven’t arrived yet when it comes to this area of faith. There are far too many times that I rant, experience self-pity, fight the wrong enemy, or withdraw form the battle. But I press on to and embrace the Apostle Paul’s challenge when he said:

Philippians 4:4-8 4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Circle the Wagons

WARNING: Deep concepts follow.

One of the buzz-words among Christian leaders in the last decade is “relevance”. The question is: How do you communicate unchangeable ancient truth to a changing culture? And the communication is not limited to verbal exchange, but to the way we live-out a transformed life in the location of our mission.

The Apostle Paul states relevance this way: “To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.” (I Corinthians 9:22-23, NIV).

From a desire to honor God with our life, many of us have taken on unnecessary burdens; striving to be holy by an act that originates in our soul (mind, will & emotions). It is the nature of our soul to withdraw from the peripheral characteristics of our society that are in reality spiritually neutral. It’s the “circle-the-wagons” mentality. We want to protect what we really have no power to protect (Isaiah 26:3). This misguided bent is most-often instilled in us through the way we were nurtured (discipled, mentored, and/or parented).

Let’s say you have a baby, and out of a desire to protect the health of your child, you place them in a bubble. This bubble is an amazing feat of medical engineering because it protects the child from all external germs and viruses. Then, at the age of 18, we finally let our socially maladjusted teenager out of the protective bubble. What happens? They die. Their body has not been exposed to germs and viruses in order to build a healthy immune system. Okay, so none of us would go to this extreme, but having been a youth pastor for over a decade, I have witnessed many examples that come close to this in a spiritual sense.

I am not advocating that we must be exposed to acts of sin in order to be immune to temptation. However, spiritual parents (not limited to biological parents) are commanded to train a child. Training is a process of instilling spiritual values, then gradually transferring their dependence upon you until their dependence rests solely upon the Spirit of God in them. Part of this process is allowing them to make spiritual decisions themselves, and coaching them on how to hear their spirit in that decision-making process. This healthy process – though inherently difficult – is meant to create disciples whose outer-person is a mirror of a Christ-centered inner-person. Unfortunately, the default switch in our sin-nature is to do outer-acts of righteousness with the assumption that it will create inner-spiritual vitality, and in turn, instill this method to those we are discipling.

Jesus had a conversation with an outwardly religious man named Nicodemus. He said this: “Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.” (John 3:6, NIV.) In other words, external works that are driven solely by the flesh (soul/body) will not produce spiritual fruit. Yet when our spirit is in the driver’s seat – motivating our soul to submit and produce righteous behavior – that spirit gives birth to spiritual fruit. In effect, you can have the same righteous act done by two different people (such as evangelism, stewardship, or even ministry), and yet have these behaviors driven from two different sources; spirit vs. soul.

This, in my opinion, is the crux of relevance. Abstaining from engaging our culture driven by legalism makes the message of the cross through our life irrelevant. The reason is that the holiness we embrace is not driven by a pure understanding and release of spirit-driven behavior.

So, because there is absolutely nothing we can do in our own strength to be saved or even holy (it is all fruit of His Spirit in us), the insecurity of our soul drives us to control our environment, giving our flesh the best chance possible to keep God’s commands. This takes us out of the game. It negates our ability to engage in the Great Commission, because, after all, the world God has commanded us to engage is made up of sinful people. I think the irrelevance that circling-the-wagons produces brings comfort to our enemy.

Today, I chose to allow the unchangeable Gospel speak loudly through my life to those my King has called me to engage. I choose NOT to become irrelevant.